green flags: muslim men edition

signs of healthy masculinity in Muslim men, to aid sisters in seeking love rooted in islam and emotional safety

Disclaimer: This piece is intended to complement the article linked at the end. Kindly read both!

---

My last post on red flags in Muslim men was written with the full intention of shedding light on concerning behaviours that are often overlooked in the process of getting married. Alhamdulillah, it did exactly that.

But I’ve felt uneasy ever since. I never want to give the impression that most Muslim men are flawed or unworthy, because that’s simply not true. I feel a responsibility to offer a more balanced picture—one that also celebrates the strength, integrity, and emotional depth of healthy Muslim men. The men who lead us with compassion and offer love from deep within themselves.

Today, I want to honour those men. The strong, regulated, masculine Muslim men who make us feel cherished and protected. The ones who make it easy to melt away and feel safe with them.

Let’s talk about the green flags we should scout out and seek in the journey toward marriage. Although I’m married, I’m still a lover girl and a hopeless romantic, so let us be whimsical together ♡

islamic green flags

🌱 he fears Allah and is mindful of your rights

This one comes first for a reason. Fearing Allah is a basic duty for every Muslim, but what sets good men apart is that fear shows up in their character through consistent action, sincerity, and a deep sense of accountability.

Allah has gifted men certain rights in marriage, but those rights come with weighty responsibilities. For example, a man has the right of leadership (qawamah), but it comes with the duty to protect, provide, and care. A man who is conscious of his Lord will take care of you mentally, emotionally and physically. He who truly fears Allah won’t misuse this role, but rather fulfill it with a sense of duty and justice.

🌱 he has a basic understanding of the fundamentals

A man with a strong grasp on the basics of Islam is more likely to be a nurturing husband, a responsible father, and a perpetual caller to good, insha’Allah. He will guide his family like a compass in the right direction, always pulling back when Allah’s displeasure may be invoked.

When mentioning fundamentals, I’m specifically addressing the matter of understanding the pillars of iman and Islam, as well as a sound understanding of the Quran and the life of the Prophet ﷺ.

“Seeking knowledge is an obligation upon every Muslim.” Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 224

🌱 he holds the qualities of a leader (qawwam)

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given one more [responsibility] than the other, and because they support them from their wealth...” Surah An-Nisa (4:34)

Leadership is not about control; it’s about care and responsibility. A righteous and good man is easy to follow because his leadership is built on Islam and the sunnah of our Prophet ﷺ. These are the kind of men who listen and reflect before reacting. They can apologize when wrong and take the necessary steps toward a solution. They embody true masculinity.

🌱 he has gheerah

Gheerah (protective jealousy) is fading in today’s world, and it’s taking with it a sense of dignity, respect, and sacredness in relationships. But a man with healthy gheerah is a diamond amongst rocks. He sees your value and treats you as such—like a precious jewel. This isn’t control, but instead a form of love that protects what is esteemed. And just as important is a man who understands your gheerah, too. (all my lowkey jealous girlies, rise!!)

Gheerah is one of the qualities embodied by the Prophet ﷺ himself!

“Do you wonder at Sa’d’s gheerah? I have more gheerah than him, and Allah has more gheerah than me.” — Sahih al-Bukhari, 5226

This quote from Muhammad Ali to his daughter also comes to mind—a true expression of gheerah and masculinity.

“Hana, everything that God made valuable in the world is covered and hard to get to.
Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected.
Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell.
Where do you find gold? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock.
You’ve got to work hard to get to them.
Your body is sacred. You’re far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too.” — More Than A Hero: Muhammad Ali’s Life Lessons Through His Daughter’s Eyes.

personal green flags

🌱 he values honesty

Honesty is non-negotiable. I find it to be such a noble characteristic. The peace of knowing your partner speaks the truth consistently and sincerely acts as an anchor in relationships. It creates safety, emotional closeness, and long-term trust between partners.

The Prophet ﷺ said,
“Truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man continues to speak the truth until he is recorded with Allah as a truthful person. Lying leads to wickedness, and wickedness leads to the Hellfire. A man continues to lie until he is recorded with Allah as a liar.” — Sahih al-Bukhari (6094

🌱 he is empathetic & kind

There’s something so powerful about a man who is gentle, emotionally available, and dripping of genuine care. Kindness in men is so often undervalued by society, but in truth, it’s the trait that roots families in perpetual peace and happiness. I always remember the men in my childhood who were kind and giving.

A kind man waters those he loves daily with words and actions.

"A man’s greatest strength is the tenderness he offers when the world teaches him to harden." — Najwa Zebian

🌱 he takes care of his health & body

This point directly speaks to the matter of discipline. A man who exercises and moves his body regularly is usually someone who values hard work, routine and discipline. It will also reduce his stress levels and, in turn, aid him in being more regulated mentally and emotionally.

“The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, while there is good in both…” — Sahih Muslim (2664)

🌱 he has a strong sense of self

A man who knows himself isn’t shaken by the opinions of others. He is guided by his values, passionate about his interests, and able to hold space for your success without insecurity. He lives in a way that inspires and leaves a positive impact on those around him.

relational green flags

🌱 he listens and communicates well

I find it so romantic when a man not only hears you but remembers what you say. A man who listens with genuine interest and communicates openly is a treasure. Conflict becomes easier, emotions are honoured, and intimacy deepens. You will feel heard and understood, binding the attachment further.

🌱 he understands and respects women

This is a green flag that cuts through the noise of today’s societal woes—the red-pill nonsense. A man who respects Muslim women, our modesty, our strength, and our honour within Islam is a green flag. His language isn’t demeaning; he doesn’t mock or diminish us. Instead, he views us as a source of strength in the ummah and treats us as such!

🌱 he is curious about you

A man who wants to know your heart, your thoughts, your little obsessions and what makes you you. That’s a man who is truly down bad and in love.

There’s something so romantic about walking your husband through the book you’re reading, or the cute animal you saw walking home, and watching his eyes light up because he cares. These are the men who make romance feel real… the ones who give you butterflies and make you feel chosen every single day.

conclusion

It’s easy to get caught up in red flags, warnings, and negativity. And while those conversations are important, I never want them to overshadow the fact that there are men out there who care deeply, who love from an honest, emotionally present place. Men who fear Allah in their words and actions, and who crave love and connection just as we do. They lead with healthy masculinity and build stable, nurturing, and emotionally safe homes.

May Allah grant you a man of goodness, one who loves his Creator deeply. And may He make us among the righteous women of good. May he make us the kind of women who cherish, honour, and admire the men He loves! Ameen.

to read next:

If you’d like to have full access to all my articles as well as support my work, you can become a paid subscriber below!