oh sinner, rejoice...
a little push to keep going this ramadan.
Thinking about Ramadan made me nervous.
The idea of fasting, the weight of its endless opportunities, and the expectation for action scared me. I knew a great month was around the corner, and I feared failure. I was terrified of disappointing Allah—of letting such a great month go to waste. But then I heard an Imam say,
“Fasting isn’t about you. It’s about Allah.”
And then everything fell into place.
But it hadn’t dawned on me that fasting wasn’t inherently decreed for my benefit, but rather an act ordained by Allah. In the tenth Hadith Qudsi, Allah says, “Fasting is Mine and it is I who give reward for it.” Fasting, unlike most forms of worship, is an act so secret that no one truly knows if you’ve fulfilled it by the end of the day. You could fool anyone by staying away from food and drink, while stuffing your face when no ones looking, or gulping a little water during wudhu. But Allah knows. Allah hears every grumble of your belly, every dry lump you swallow throughout the day. You are opposing the needs of your body and self for the One whom you have never seen but know is there. It is an act so personal between you and your Lord. An act of pure obedience.
Narrated Abu Huraira, the Prophet ﷺ said,
“Allah said, ‘Every good deed of Adam’s son is for him except fasting; it is for Me, and I shall reward the fasting person for it.’ Verily, the smell of the mouth of a fasting person is better to Allah than the smell of musk.”
— Sahih al-Bukhari 5927
Performance anxiety was another obstacle I struggled to shake. After not fasting for three years, and now being diagnosed with a debilitating illness, I knew I couldn’t compare to my past self. I had entered Ramadan with a defeatist mindset, beating myself up with a conclusion I hadn’t even had the chance to debunk. But then I came across an old article I wrote, where I said,
We cannot be perfect, but Allah is. Instead of limiting hope within the confines of our capability, let us rely wholly and truly on Allah. Let us trust that He will help us each time we ask Him, and see Him through His mercy, not our mistakes.
— “seeing Allah through His mercy, not through our mistakes.”
I had been worrying too much about something that was not in my control. Allah can change the outcome of a situation if we ask Him. So why not… just ask?
I know many of you feel the same way. Ramadan and all its potential for reward can be daunting. Every single one of us now witness the way our nafs reacts when it is stripped of its desires. Without food, backbiting, intimacy, sins, and even water, we are left to sit quietly with ourselves. We realize that Ramadan is inherently a cycle of conquering our desires for the sake of Allah again and again. And it is hard. So, so hard. But you know what is greater than the biggest obstacle? What is greater than everything and anything?
Allah.
We can succeed this Ramadan. We can exit the month in a sprint as true winners because Allah is our Lord.
On the authority of Ibn Abbas, the Prophet ﷺ said,
“Be mindful of Allah and Allah will protect you. Be mindful of Allah and you will find Him before you. If you ask, then ask Allah alone; and if you seek help, then seek help from Allah alone. And know that if the nations were to gather together to benefit you with anything, they would not benefit you except with what Allah had already prescribed for you. And if they were to gather together to harm you with anything, they would not harm you except with what Allah had already prescribed against you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried.” — Hadith 19, 40 Hadith an-Nawawi
We need to ask Allah to bring us close to Him this Ramadan. We must ask Allah to strengthen our fight against our nafs, to keep us in good company, to give us the strength to keep striving and pushing through.
My mind goes to the hadith where the Messenger of Allah ﷺ says, “Allah laughs at the despair of His slaves although He soon changes it. We shall never be deprived of good by a Lord Who laughs.”
Allah is good. We worship a kind Lord who loves to give and answer our pleas. This is who we are fasting for. A Lord who wants us to succeed. So sincerely ask Him for help, and you will find yourself among the successful. This isn’t something we’re bearing alone. Allah is with us every step of the way.
This is the month of forgiveness, the month of salvation and new beginnings. Ramadan is a chance for salvation available to everyone; the one who is constantly mindful of Allah and the sinner who often forgets Him. Rejoice at the opportunity and grasp it firmly with both hands. It only comes once in the year.
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said,
“On the first night of the month of Ramadan, the devils are chained and the jinn are restrained, the gates of Hellfire are closed and none of its gates are opened, the gates of Paradise are opened and none of its gates are closed, and a heavenly caller announces: O seeker of good, come near. O seeker of evil, stop short. Allah has those He saves from the Hellfire, and that is during every night.” — Sunan al-Tirmidhi 682
If you have been unable to attend taraweeh, or perhaps it's too taxing on your body like it is on mine, pray a portion before bed, standing or sitting, whether it’s two raka’at or four. Maybe even six. Anything is better than nothing, and praying nightly increases our chances of catching Laylatul Qadr!
Memorize the du’a below and say it as often as you remember:
اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّكَ عَفُوٌّ تُحِبُّ الْعَفْوَ فَاعْفُ عَنِّي
Oh Allah, You are Forgiving and love forgiveness, so forgive me.
We can do this. We will succeed with Allah’s help. We just need to ask for it.
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